Sunday, May 27, 2007

N.Y.C.

It has been a while since the last update I know. I haven't even been that busy either. I have no excuse. Anyway here is the blog about my recent trip to New York. I can't believe that I have been home for a week already.
Day 1

Our flight left YYX at 8:10am, so that meant a 5am wake-up time and then the mad rush to Pearson. The flight lasted a little more than an hour but was very turbulent due to some storm cells in the New York area.

We landed at LaGuardia in Queens. I immediately thought of Good Fellas! We waited patiently in line for our baggage and then again for a cab. For those of you who have not been to NYC I will just fore warn you that the taxi rides are about the most terrifying experiences that you will ever have.

We checked in to our hotel, the Holiday Inn on west 57th between 9th and 10th. It was only a few blocks from Central Park and Times Square. Great location to say the least.

First destination on our list was to get lunch. We took the 5 or 10 minute walk to Times Square and found a corner booth at Bubba/Gump's Shrimp House. We had a terrific view of Times Square. At this time I would like to add that I had left my camera at the hotel, so unfortunately I have no pics of Day 1.

After lunch we walked up to the MOMA (Museum of Modern Art). This is when I was really regretting leaving my camera behind. We spent the entire afternoon looking at fine art work. There were Picasso's, Dali's, Monet's and sculptures by Rodin just to name a few. It was absolutely breathtaking (is that one word or two?) to be standing only inches away from Starry Night. I will truly not forget that for the rest of my life. Other highlights were the enormous Water Lillies by Monet and the room full of Jackson Pollack paintings. Here are some photos I have from their web-site:


















After many hours of culture the clan had decided it was time for a nap and then dinner. We found a nice little Italian place called Franks. The food there was much better than at Bubba/Gump's.

Day 2

I remembered my camera! The agenda for Day 2 was to walk up to the Museum of Natural History and then through Central Park to the Guggenheim. I was hoping to see the Dakota on our walk but I went past it without even noticing. Here are some photos of Day 2.

The Museum of Natural History:

















Central Park:

















The Guggenheim:





This is all of the bloggin' time that I have right now. I will continue with days 3 and 4 next time.

Until then...

Sunday, April 08, 2007

It's Been A While!

Stuff That's New

1) Bought a new car! This is great, we really needed it. We bought a 2005 Toyota Matrix. It's blue and only has a few options. Hopefully it will be good to us.

2) Retired the Firefly. After years of great service the Firefly has officially been reitred! It outlasted 4 cars, 2 houses, and many of my friends marriges. I got my licence and fell in love with my wife in that car. Many memories that won't soon be forgotten. I am planning a homage blog when I finally get rid of it. For now it sleeps peacfully in my garage.

3) Booked a trip to New York. We wil be visiting the great city of New York during the May 2-4 long weekend. Some of the things that I want to do are: see a Yankee's game, visit the Statue of Liberty, go up the Empire States Building, walk through central park, get mugged, see a Broadway play, eat at Famous Ray's Pizza, spot a celebrety and not make a big deal out of it, yell at somebody from an appartment window, call somebody a name like "Jablone", ride the subway, see the museum (one of them anyway), visit The Met, tell someone to "Forget about it", join a gang, eat at the Carnagie Deli, play a fixed game of Three-Card Monte, and get flipped off. I only have a few days, but I think I'll fit it all in!

4) Found an Ipod Nano. I waited around for the rightful owner, but they never came. I guess that's why they're not allowed to have nice things!

Stuff That's Not New

1) I shaved my head.

2) I fed the cats.

3) I enjoy music.

Well that's about it. What a rip I know. It's been well over a month and this is all you get. Not even a lousy picture! I'm afraid you will just have to admit that you are reading a blog by somebody who is actually this boring! Until next time...

P.S. I lost my watch so if any of you find it please let me know. Thanks.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Sports Entry (sorry non-hockey fans)

I don't usually like to post controversial opinions on my blog because I feel as though I am preaching instead of sharing information, things I find interesting, or what's new in my life. However, this is just sports. There is no real controversy in sports as far as I am concerned, because it is just a form of entertainment. Therefore I don't mind throwing my two-cents in to the pot of this pseudo-controversy. Enjoy!


Sad State of NHL Violence

I don't remember the last time we went through a hockey season without some kind of violent controversy in the NHL that ended with much debate in the media about if the punishment fit the crime. The truth of the matter is that the punishment is not fitting the crime. When the punishment fits the crime it will deter others from committing the same unlawful acts. Instead, we find players intentionally trying to hurt other players and claiming it is part of the game.

Now I understand that there is a violent aspect to hockey. In fact, I think it would be a mistake to take the hitting and fighting out of the game. What I don't like is how we are now seeing players using their sticks as weapons, or coaches putting out entire lines of goons for revenge(Buffalo I'm looking at you!) with the intent on hurting players on the opposing team!

The three big incidents that automatically come to mind are,
1) McSorley hitting Brashear over the head with his stick from behind,
2) Bertuzzi punching Moore in the back of the head (more on this one later), and
3) Simon slashing Hollweg across the face.

McSorely was suspended 23 games, Bertuzzi 20 games, and Simon for a minimum of 25 games.

There are many others with similar suspensions, such as Brad May, Dale Hunter, and Gordie (good hockey name) Dwyer just to name a few. This is obviously a problem that is not going away with the current punishments.

My Idea!
I have an idea that might start to deter these emotional acts of violence. It involves looking at intent and punishing the whole team.

Intent: Intent is a huge factor in these situations as far as I am concerned. Here are a couple of examples:

Simon hitting Hollweg with his stick:
I don't believe that it could be argue that Simon did not intend to hurt Hollweg more than he actually did. He took his stick and swung it like a bat into the face of an opposing player. By luck he only hit Hollweg's chin and damage was kept to a minimum.

Bertuzzi punching Moore in the back of the head:
As cowardly as it was for Bertuzzi to sucker-punch Moore from behind, it is without a doubt in my mind that he did not intend to break Moore's neck. Moore knew that Bertuzzi was trying to fight him. Bertuzzi was tugging in Moore's jersey and yelling at him. Trying to goad him into battle. Moore, having already fought earlier in the game, decide to ignore Bertuzzi. Not wanting to be ignored Bertuzzi decided to take it to the next level by throwing a punch. There is no way Moore could ignore that, and then would have to fight. Unfortunately Moore fell to the ice and broke his neck somehow. Whether it was the punch, the fall, or every player on the ice piling on top of him, the bottom line is that Moore's neck broke because of Bertuzzi's actions and therefore punishable.

Now if we look at the intention of these two players it seems almost criminal to me that they received similar punishments. Now, I'm not saying that Bertuzzi shouldn't be punished for his actions just because he didn't mean to hurt Moore, I'm saying that there should be degrees of of punishment. Kind of like the difference between manslaughter and murder.

Punishing The Whole Team: For most penalties in hockey the entire team suffers. Should somebody throw an elbow, they sit in the box for 2 to 5 minutes. The team then has to play short handed for the duration of the penalty and work extra hard to prevent the other team from scoring. With this system we have the team suffering for individual offences. This gives us incidents known as "stupid penalties", and if you take a stupid penalty the whole team could be angry with you. This is a great deterrent.

My idea is that for every game that a player is suspended for a violent act with the intent or cause of severe injury, then their team should start each period of the suspension games with a 5 minute major penalty. So if it is a 5 game suspension the team will start every period for all of those 5 games short handed for 5 minutes. Just watch how fast players get their emotions under control if a rule like that ever came in to the game. I'd bet that using an excuse like "he didn't know what he was doing because he had a concussion" wouldn't apply any longer.

This way you punish the individual player with the suspension (lost money) and the whole team gets punished with the penalty every period! Now you could argue that missing the player for the suspension term also punishes the team. But let's be honest, most of the players that get these types of suspensions are goons who really wouldn't be missed that much. For example, the Islanders are probably not going to miss Simon all that much. He only had 27 points this season. Hardly a finesse player!

To Recap
In conclusion, I feel that the NHL is not doing enough to deter the extreme violence that is becoming more prevalent in the game today. I feel that they need to start looking at the intention of the offence and decide on what the punishment should be based on their conclusions. If a suspension is issued for a violent act, then the entire team should be suffering more by having to play short handed for the first 5 minutes of every period of the duration of the suspension. It is my opinion that these actions will truly stop these stupid acts of violence from occurring as often.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Postsecret.Blogspot.Com

Earlier this week I was reading the newspaper in the lunchroom at my work, and I stumbled upon an article about a blog created by a guy named Frank Warren. He claimed that it was a community art project that took people's secrets and anonymously posted them on the web. It began in November 2004 when Mr. Warren handed out 3000 self addressed stamped envelopes to people with the instruction of writing a secret on a postcard or picture and sending it to him in the mail. Less than three years later he has received more than 20000 secrets and is able to update his blog every Sunday with new entries.

After viewing the blog myself I had a rush of conflicting emotions. I was saddened, terrified, comforted, and humoured all at once. Some made me laugh, while others made me want to cry. To me, this is everything that good art should do to a person. I have questioned myself, and I have questioned society. I have also related to some of what I saw on a very personal level. I believe this to be the first real piece of art from the digital revolution. Frank Warren has shown me how much potential that blogging has, and in my personal opinion his web site should be on display in an art gallery. I have posted some of the examples from his project below. If you want to see this for yourself just click here.


For more information here is a video from ABC news that really show what this site is about as explained by Frank Warren. There may be some advertisements before it begins so be patient.

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=2778232

Saturday, March 03, 2007

N'Sync

News
Not too much new to report in my neck of the woods. Recently I have made plans to go to a Jay's game. Looks like it will be May 8 against the Bosox. Should be a good time. I was also trying to pick up some tickets to the Grey Cup, but I have a problem with paying more than $50 for ant CFL game!

School
I had a couple of exams last week. Looks like I tanked one and aced one. I'll have to study harder on the Taxation course. I find it really interesting, but also very challenging.

Health
Recently I've been trying to get back to my Mesomorph status. I need to start getting more exercise. I have been eating much better lately. I get 5 to 8 servings of fruits and veggies, and have been drinking lots of water. I figure a 30lbs loss is sufficient.

Fun
I'm sure most of you have heard of Darkside of the Rainbow. The DVD of the Wizard of Oz and Darkside of the Moon synced up. I have found some other great Pink Floyd sync ups on youtube. This one is my favorite. It had to be broken up into 3 parts because the segment is quite long. It is using the song Echoes as the soundtrack to the ending sequences of 2001: A Space Odyssey. I'm not sure if it's a sync or not, but it does work well! Enjoy.






Monday, February 05, 2007

Behind Enemy Lines

February 3rd, 2007

Uncle D. and I began our journey at 11:00am E.S.T. The destination: the home of the dreaded Ottawa Senators. We were on a pilgrimage to witness a battle between one of the best hockey rivalries of our time. The Toronto Maple Leafs vs. the Ottawa Senators. The Leaf Nation was going to assault the Senator's Army that night, and we had front row (level 300) seats!



With haste and determination Uncle D. drove our chariot to the other side in great time. Just over 4 hours from door-to-hell (aka. Kanata ON.). Our first line of business was to scope out the arena. The first rule of war is to know your enemy, Uncle D. and I were just doing our research.
















After many hours in the car we decided to check in to our hotel room for some much needed rest. We were two weary travelers trying to conserve our energy so that we could properly support our beloved Maple Leafs. However Ottawa was about to delver the first blow. Our room was not ready yet! They tried putting us in a non-smoking room with only one bed, and then shipped us in to an unwanted smoking room. The only problem was that it would take about half an hour before that room was ready. That was when we realized that this was probably a Senators fan trying to mess with our game. We rolled with the punches like the cool cats we are and decided to wait for the smoking room. This only gave us time to do more research.

We used our time wisely. We found a faster route to the arena, and found a few places to eat. We knew that it would be hard for us to get re-fueled in enemy territory, so we gave ourselves options.

We got back to the hotel and checked in to our room. This gave us a few hours to recharge our batteries. We watched most of the Edmonton game and put our beer on ice. The beers were going to be for either cheers or tears so we had to make sure that they would be cold.

The time had come to decide on a place to eat. Our first choice was Marshy's, a bar owned by Brad Marsh and located right in Scotia Bank Place. This would have been perfect but we were shut down by the powers that be. It was probably another Ottawa ploy to keep us down! We were smart though, and we had done our homework about our various options. One by one we were declined sustenance. Kelsey's, Boston Pizza, and Jack Astors all demanded at least a 30 to 45 minute wait. Eventually we ended up a Swiss Chalet. Not fancy, but it is good hardy food to give us the energy to cheer!

Game Time















After finishing our delicious meal Uncle D. and I made our way to the arena. Dressed in our beloved blue and white we were prepared to give morale support to our troops while they did battle on enemy ice. Our seats were perfect. Just to the side of where Raycroft would play for the first and third periods. Quickly we realized we were not alone. About a quarter of the fans at the game were Leaf fans. This was going to be GREAT!

First Period

The first period was a deadlock. Both teams had great chances and both goalies had to make great saves. The Leaf fans were effectively drowning out all Ottawa fans. GO LEAFS GO! GO LEAFS GO! Our energy was running high to say the least.

The between period game had two contestants. Their goal was to be the first to guess a player from the Ottawa team as one letter from the player's name appeared on the score board every couple of seconds. In true champion style the contestant in the Leaf's jersey beat the Ottawa fan in naming the player. Score one for Leaf fans!

Second Period

With all the Leaf fans still making noise, the beloved blue and white struck first blood. O'Neil went to the net on a decent passing play and was able to bank one in to the net. The place went wild! Toronto fans giving high fives, and hugging while the Sens fans had to sit there quietly and take it! 10 minutes later and the Maple Leafs were dominating. It looked as though we had a power play, but we didn't. The Leafs were making perfect passes, and taking plenty of shots. Then Mats Sundin showed patience and was able to get the Ottawa goalie out of position enough to score our second goal! It appeared as though the Leaf team was beginning to justify the arrogance of us Leaf fans.


Third Period

The third period has been tough on the Leafs all year. If games were only two periods long, we'd be in first place! The Ottawa fans knew it. I started getting heckled from the guy beside me. "This is our period boys, prepare to choke!" I ignored the taunts, but then the unthinkable happened. The dreaded Alfredson scored. Why did it have to be Alfredson, I would have preferred if the Leafs scored on themselves! That's the way the cookie crumbles though. About 20 seconds later another goal for Ottawa, but this goal was strange. Something appeared to be wrong. After some arguing and debate on the ice the officials thought it would be best to check the instant replay. Luckily the verdict was no goal! The Leaf fans cheered, but they knew that the wind was coming out of the sails fast. With about 10 minutes left in the game Ottawa got a goal to tie the game at 2. We just had to keep the puck out of our net for a few more minutes and we would at least get a point out of this. My Ottawa supporting neighbour was now becoming more vocal. I had to admit that things did not look so good, and explained that it wasn't easy being a Leaf fan, but faith gets us through the hard times. I felt a sigh of relief when I heard the horn ending the period. We were off to overtime!

Fourth Period

It appears that somebody has lit a fire under the asses of both teams! Speed was high and both teams were pushing for the win. Pucks were shot and saves were made at both ends. It was exciting hockey indeed! After the short overtime period we still had no victor in the match. We were heading for a shoot-out.

The Shoot-Out

I will admit that I was nervous going in to the shoot-out. Raycroft has been weak in this area all year long, and I had already cheered too much to handle a loss. This is how it played out:

ANTROPOV - Miss (I couldn't believe they put Antropov out there)
VERMETTE - Goal (Through the 5-hole of Raycroft. The chips were now officially down!)
SUNDIN - Goal (This was a do or die goal. A save or miss would have lost the game)
COMRIE - Save (The crowd went wild!)

KABERLE - Save (Kaberle, what the hell was he doing out there?!)
FISHER - Miss (He had beat Raycroft, but missed the net. Big sigh!)

PONIKAROVSKY - Save (Good save!)
HEATLEY - Save (UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!)

POHL - Goal (We went crazy)
SPEZZA - Save (WE DID IT, WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!)


The Aftermath







We triumphantly left the arena with our heads held high. Our efforts had been rewarded with a dramatic win! We felt like we had done our part to shake up the Ottawa fans. Through out the day we were driving erratically, speaking out of turn, and peeing on the toilet seats! It was time to go back to the room and enjoy some celebratory beverages. And that's exactly what we did.
The Video Evidence



Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Rain in Late January






It Rained down on my mother and I last Sunday afternoon as we took in one of the best cover bands that I have ever seen in my life! Being a Beatles fan since probably birth I would have to say that I was skeptical about this performance. After the first song I was hooked! These guys really did their home work. Every note was perfect and all manerisms were completely accurate. As a whole I rank this show 4 out of 5. However, in a tribute band individual performance is key. For that reason I will review each of the four members (there was a fifth who played keyboard, but he didn't have a charater to portray).





Paul: Played perfectly by Joey Curatolo. When more make-up and costume was used, Joey even looked a lot like Paul. His voice was spot on, and to be honest, he stole the show. His rendition of Yesterday was beautiful and if you shut your eyes you would swear the Paul himself was in the room. Even using Pauls wittiness fun banter in between songs was done vvery well.


5 out of 5


Ringo: Although he didn't look very much like Ringo, Ralph Castelli performed perfectly on the drums, but was most impressive when he sung. He sounded almost exactly like Ringo when he performed A Little Help From My Friends. He didn't really talk much (if at all) but he did carry his weight (sorry about that one) through-out the show.


4 out of 5


John: With short hair Steve Landes looked more like John Sebastian, and more like a young Ozzy Osbourne when he had lo hair. His singing was very close to John's, but he tended to sing through his nose too much. At one point he sounded more like Greg Keelor from Blue Rodeo than John Lennon. All of that aside Steve did a great job. His antics and bantor in between songs where very much like Lennon's and he played his instruments very well.
3.5 out of 5
George: Played by Joe Bithon I found the George character to be my least favorite. He didn't look or sound like George, and his guitar wasn't loud enough on While My Guitar Gently Weeps. While My Guitar... also seemed to be at a very slow tempo. Kind of like playing the album at a slower RPM. George didn't seem to do much, but he played his guitar very well.
3 out of 5
Overall the show was great. My favorite part was when they played most of side 2 of Abbey Road. Golden Slumbers right through to The End. Fantastic! I wasn't expecting it, but they even performed an encore. Starting with Let It Be, then Imagine, and then capping the show off with a great sing-a-long rendition of Hey Jude. A good time was truely had by all.
And in the end...


Thursday, January 25, 2007

Finally Updated!

Not too much new with me lately. I have started my new courses (Taxation, Purchasing & Supply Management, and AccPac) and have been pretty swamped with homework. I should have my accounting diploma in August and a general business diploma in December. I'm in the home stretch now.

I haven't been writing lately because I haven't been doing anything. I really don't like writing about my opinions on things as much as I do writing about experiences that I have. So getting in the mood to write is more difficult when I am not doing anything very interesting.


Logical Endings to Movies


Seeing that I have nothing to write about, I will share with you all what I feel to be logical endings to a couple of popular movies.

The Terminator
In this movie I have always wondered why Sarah Conner didn't just hop on a plane and fly to Laos, or Nepal. It would have taken the robot forever to figure that one out! By the time the robot did figure it out it would be way too late and the resistance would have already been well on its way. Would have made for a much shorter movie though.

Back to the Future
I think once Marty realized that he was stuck in 1955 with little to no chance of ever getting back to 1985, he should have murdered Doc Brown. Then the time machine would never have been invented and Marty wouldn't have been sent back and the Doc wouldn't have been murdered! Problem solved in less than half an hour of film. It probably wouldn't have received the same popularity though.


My Hero of the Week

I want to add in a continuing section of my blog where I write about someone who I consider a hero and why. Kind of like a fifth grade English assignment!

Wesley Autrey
This is the 50 year old construction worker that save a teenager who fell on the tracks at a New York subway station after the teen had a seizure.
While waiting for a train with his two daughters, Wesley saw a man "in medical distress" fall on to the tracks as the train was approaching. In a split second he asked a woman to hold his daughters hands and then proceeded to jump on to the tracks and roll the fallen passenger to safety in between the tracks. The train rolled right over top of them with only inches to spare. A true act of heroism! The part that I find truly amazing is that after the incident, Mr. Autrey refused medical attention and still went to work that same day! This is one dedicated guy, and is my first hero of the week.
Game show Clip of the Week
This is from an English game show called Distraction. In this clip contestants get shot by paint balls for every question they get wrong. However, as you will see, even when they win it seems the challenge of taking home the prize is still quite difficult. I warn you that there is swearing and the clip is about 9 minutes long. I feel it is well worth the time invested though!



Unnecessary Censorship
This is a classic bit by late show host Jimmy Kimmel. It never fails to make me laugh! It's about 4 minutes long and contains implied offensive material.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Holiday Is Officially Over

Today is a sad day, as it marks the end of my 2 week vacation from my life as a handrailer. In celebration of this monumental day my body has decided to contract a nasty head cold. Bad day indeed. So far 2007 has been pretty good to me. Only being a week old this isn't saying much I know, but damn, I have to be loving this weather. I have also found time to put in some much needed maintenance on both cars. For those of you who care, the Firefly is still up and running. This car is awesome! It has been there fot me to get my lisence, it has transported me to work and back for many years, it has outlasted 2 houses (and countless marrigages!), and it still starts every morning without fail. It owes me nothing!

2007 Resolutions

I really don't have any resoulutions this year. It's not that I don't need to improve on anything, it's just that I don't care enough to write them down. So, in liue of my own resoulutions I will give you the resoulutions of Dwight Schrute (left):

Dwight Schrute’s New Years Resolution ‘07

I, Dwight Schrute, resolve, in the year 2007, to display more wisdom and benelovence to my inferiors.

It is said, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Well I say, keep everyone as close as possible to you because you don’t know who is your friend or your enemy. Keep the people below you even closer if that’s possible. Even if they have to be inside you.

Remember: they work for you. They must respect you. If you can fool them into thinking that you really care, you can get them to do anything for you. Even kill if necessary.

Now I’m not saying I want Ryan or Kevin to kill a competitor or Andy or anything, but it would be nice to know that they would if I asked them to.

What are your new years resolutions. You can reply by clicking on something below.

That is all.

Dwight K. Schrute

Miso

Over the last couple of months, Andrea and I have noticed some similarities between our cat Miso, and Stewie Griffin from Family Guy. It appears that Miso wants us out of the way. She wakes me evey morning by using my shins as scrating posts. Then, as I walk down the stairs to feed her, she tries to trip me. Andrea gets the same treatment, maybe even worse. Last week Miso clawed Andrea's face while they were playing, and then later that night, whlie Andrea was sleeping, Miso scratched Andrea's eye lid!

This little kitten also managed to strip our christmas tree in about an hour. Not just the bulbs either. She managed to climb to the top and throw the angel to the floor and actually started to remove branches!

These unprovoked attacks have led Andrea and I to belive that Miso is either the devil incarnate, or she is plotting world domination. Either way, I advise you all to beware!

So This Is What Happened To Mickey Rooney!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The Holidays

From Twisted Sisters new Christmas CD:


A Christmas Joke:

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said. "You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?" The man replied, "These are Carols."

Ha, Ha, Ha!


Christmas Math (I got this through e-mail):

There are approximately 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Jehovah's Witnesses, orBuddhistt religions, this reduces the workload on Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with at least one good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, jump out, go down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump in the sleigh, and move on to the next house. (That's why it's really pointless to stay up and wait for him.)

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom breaks. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For the purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 75.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child has nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull nothing more than 300 pounds. Even granted that flying reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or nine of them; Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the sleigh itself, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of thElizabethlizibeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance; this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and causing deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.2 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles per second in .001 seconds, would be subjected to centrifugal forces of 17,500 G's. A 250 pound Santa (which seem ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pound of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas


RIP To The Godfather



Friday, December 08, 2006

Tis The Season...


















I wasn't sure which of these two images best described what the holiday season has become so I posted them both. I think they are both genius in their simplicity. Perhaps the one on the right is more true than the one on the left, but they are both pretty good.

Not too much new with me personally, but I have a couple of rants to go on. I also found a pretty funny video that combines Star Trek and Nine Inch Nails. It is offensive in language, so be sure that there is not any impressionable youth in the room when you play it.

We Wish You A Merry Christmas

First off I would like to personally thank the world for not subjecting me to the debate on whether it should be the Holiday Tree or the Christmas Tree. 8 days in and I haven't heard a thing. Perhaps we have all finally gotten over it.

I recently listened to the song We Wish You A Merry Christmas and was really taken back by the attitude that this prick had. I'll start from the beginning:

We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Ok, we're off to a good start. Well wishing, good manners, very nice.

Good tidings we bring to you and your kin;
Good tidings for Christmas and a Happy New Year.
WOW! Adding in my kin. This guy is all class!

Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding;
Sure, I want to be a good host. No problem.
Oh, bring us a figgy pudding and a cup of good cheer
Alright, now he's taking liberties by expecting booze. I'll offer you what I have and I ask you to please be courteous.

We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some;
We won't go until we get some, so bring some out here
Alright, Jackass! You went too far. I appreciate the well wishes, but now you are just being rude. Don't make me call the authorities, or force me to remove you physically. Is this really the type of neighborhood that I live in! GOD!

We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas;
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Too little, too late. Just get out!


John Lennon

Well today's the anniversary of John Lennon's death. Sales of Catcher in the Rye have never been better! Just kidding, it was a terrible loss. However, I feel his legend is probably far from the truth as far as the way he was as a person. Now from this point on I am probably not going to be winning many friends, but here it goes. This guy sang about no possessions but owned a Rolls Royce and lived in the entire top floor of the Dakota. In fact his first (and most talented) son has been left out of the fortune that John acquired. This does not sound like a man who held the courage of his convictions. I could go on, but not today.

Enough negative. This man is responsible for some of the best music that came out of the last century. Perhaps of all time. The loss of a man like this knows no bounds. Everybody should listen to Elton John's "Empty Garden" this weekend and reflect.

The Videos

2 videos for you guys. The Star Trek one contains foul language and shows Spock trying to violate Kirk. I thought it was funny.

The second one is another claymation video about the Adams Family. Enjoy.










That's all for today. Next time I'll try to be a little more cheery.

Later

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

One Boring Week!

Well, as you can tell by the title, not too much has happened in the last week. I am in the middle of some tests so I have been keeping busy with studying. Andrea worked last Saturday and I awaited the arrival of our new armoire. It looks great by the way! Miso went in to be spayed on Monday, so she is on the mend now. That's about it for me.

Star Wars

Just because I'm boring doesn't mean that the blog has to be! Enjoy.


Monday, November 20, 2006

The Mayor of the Sunset Strip


Movie Reviews

The Mayor of the Sunset Strip
Rating: 4/5

Would you rather be extremely rich, or extremely famous? I'm sure we have all been posed with this question at one time or another. The documentary "The Mayor of the Sunset Strip" is a bout a man who has chosen the latter.

Meet Rodney Bingenheimer. Who? Don't feel bad, I didn't know who this guy was either. Rodney is the man behind the scenes. He has brought almost every modern rock icon to the mainstream. In his words "I am the designated driver between the famous, and the not so famous." This man introduced America to David Bowie, The Ramones, The Sex Pistols, Blondie, Oasis, Coldplay, and Nirvana to name just a few. He is personally credited for creating the LA scene in the 60's and 70's. He had befriended the likes of The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, The Beachboys, Sonny and Cher, and The Doors when he was just a teenager.

The Mayor of the Sunset Strip attempts to tell the story of the now older man who has been through every bit of the dirty rock n' roll world and has come out of it with his innocence still in tact. From living on the streets, to starting a club, to becoming a writer, to being the biggest DJ in K-ROQ history, Rodney has done it all.

The film spends a lot of time showing the seedy underworld of modern music and some of the unsavoury characters that lie within. Plenty of time was spent with Rodeny's "friend" and record producer Kim Fowley to illustrate this point. It is my personal opinion that this man deserves to be in jail. It frightens me that people like this exist!

We also see the people who genuinly seem to be appreciative of what Rodney has done for them and appear to be his friends. This is a very small circle however. Even some of these people come off as using Rodney for their own personal gain.

At the end of the day, we see this person who is surrounded by so many glamorous people go home alone to a crappy appartment. The only thing Rodey really has to show for his life is the impressive memorbilia that he has collected and hung on his walls.

Although the fim has been shot and edited in a way to portray this man in whatever the director's vision may have been, I feel that it is landing pretty close to the mark. Rodney Bingenheimer's sensitive and loving personality had shone through any filmmaking tricks that are being done, and I really got a sense of who this man is and was. This is a man who did not dedicate his life to a career for money, but instead for love. This move is a good counterpoint to the axiom "Find a job that you love and you will be happy."

We are left with the King of K-ROQ being bumped to the worst time slot on radio (sunday nights 12am to 3am), then being rejected by the woman he loves, and visiting his father who has hung pictures in house of everbody but his own son.

Truly a sad look at a man who deserved so much more.

Friday, November 17, 2006

She's Got Your Eyes


Hello all. Not too much to report this week. I had my good friend JW over last Saturday, and had a blast. Nursed a hangover on Sunday, and most of Monday. I find that nothing humbles you more than a really bad hangover. And was this one ever bad! Other than that, it was pretty much business as usual around here. Enough about me though, I have some rants and grievances to get off my chest.


Chain E-Mails
I know this is something that we can all relate with, and before I go on about this I want to say that I don't think they are all bad. In fact I enjoy quite a few of the funnier ones. It is the e-mails that are just selling superiority, or pretend to be quoting some celebrity (usually a comedian) that really grind my gears! So every time I receive a bad chain e-mail I am going to post it here along with my opinions on what is being said. Here is this week's chain e-mail (my comments are in italic):

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
I'm not too sure what the author is trying to say here. Do they think women should still drink and smoke during pregnancy, or are they bragging that their mother did? Either way it's stupid!

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.
As far as I know people still take aspirin, eat blue cheese dressing, and tuna from a can. Sure some of the people have health issues that may prevent it, but all of these products are still around for a reason. I also believe that people got tested for diabetes, it's just more widespread now. Probably from poor diet and not enough exercise, but that's a problem that we all have to deal with ourselves.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
Wow! Is the author complaining that people are trying to avoid SIDs! Also, lead-based paint is a known hazard and I don't think parents of past generations would have used it if they had known the potential health problems is could cause.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.
Personally, I think childproof medicine bottles, doors, and cabinets are good ideas. I also think that wearing a helmet while bike riding is just good sense. And implying that hitchhiking is safe is just insanity!

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.
And when people got into car accidents their children were either badly injured or killed. Thrown around like projectiles until they smashed through the window and landed in the way of oncoming traffic! Why on earth would anybody not want these added safety features after thinking about what could happen without them?

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.
Even though I did this as a kid myself, it's probably not a good idea to continue this practice!

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We can still drink from the garden hose! All you need to do is buy a garden hose and attach it to a tap. Water bottles are more convenient though!

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.
Did anyone actually think that they would die from sharing a pop with a friend?

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because. WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!
I still eat cupcakes sometimes! There is nothing wrong with the foods mentioned here, just as longs as they are in moderation. Maybe that's the problem with most people these day (not just kids). A LACK OF SELF CONTROL! Limit yourself to only one cupcake instead of 5 or 6, and everything will be fine. I am going to field the playing outside point in the next part.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the street lights came on.
Well thre is more of a fear that some person will try to attack or harm our children in some way if we let them out of our sight for too long. There is also a problem with the attitudes in neighborhoods these days. Most cities and towns have passed by-laws banning things like road hockey (and I live in Canada!), and parents are too afraid to let the kids go to the park, or pond, or field by themselves, and are either too busy or lazy to take them themselves. Also kids are being scheduled to death these days. What with things like gym-boree, and play-dates, and the like. I can drone on about this (yes, even longer than I already have), but I feel that I have made my point.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.
Actually, I agree with this one! Although I do understand that a cell phone is good for safety reasons.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
I never in my life have built a go-cart, but I am confident in thinking that I would solve the brakes problem after running into the bushes only once!

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms...... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
But it was the people of these generations that invented these great toys! Why now are they complaining?

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
How the hell do you sue a tree?! We have become a more litigious society though, and the people of these generations are 100% at fault for it! We are the governments and lawyers. Sad but true.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
Just for the record, I never willingly ate worms or mud, although we all still have there freedom to do so if we want to.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.
This point is probably hard to sell to someone who lost an eye in a BB gun mishap. Perhaps the world would be a better place today if the parents of yesteryear didn't give us guns to play with like toys.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!
I'm pretty sure people still do this.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!
Rep teams still have tryouts. Those who don't make the team can play in house league. I believe that everybody has a right to play organized sports regardless of their skill-set.

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
I don't think the people in our jails would be a good influence on our children. Best to keep them out if you can. Still though discipline will be needed. Parents, THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, not the justice systems.

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!
There were also great risk-takers, problem solvers, and inventors before these generations. Just look at Thomas Edison!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!
Inventions like video games, surround sound, DVD's, CD's, Mp3s , and all the others ones that the author complained about!

If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS! (like being born during a specific period is something to be proud of!)
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good
We did vote them in.

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.
But mostly stupid form the sounds of it.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?
Nope, my parents told me that was dangerous.


Conclusion
E-mails like that one are just trying to make you feel superior. How can we say which way is better if we didn't experience both ways of growing up? Perhaps is is more accurate to say that we grew up in different times, with different activities. And most importantly, we enjoyed it! Perhaps judging today's children for the way they are growing up is wrong. Perhaps we should be looking at the people who are raising the children in an environment that produced these results and notice that they come from the 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, and 70's. Perhaps these generations made better children than parents. Or maybe, everything is fine. Just different.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Remember Bowzer?!

Looking back at it now, I must say that I am a little embarrassed that Bowzer was my favorite member of Sha-Na-Na. Actually, I am also embarrassed that I had a favorite member. I'm not too sure what image he is trying to get with this pose. Whatever it is, it isn't working.

u2

Last night I heard the new U2 song for the first time. Not the one they did with Green Day, but the one on the upcoming Best of disc "U2 18". I think the song is called "Window In The Skies" and I have a couple of comments on it.

First of all, does U2 really need another best of album? They just released two in the late 90's early 00's. Secondly, can they please reinvent themselves again?! Their post 90's sound is boring and middle of the road. Does anybody remember when these guys were edgy? Every few years they really challenged themselves and recreated their sound. Sure, not everybody liked the changes, but they were never accused of being boring. These last few albums have been mediocre at best. Maybe U2 18 is their way of closing this chapter in their careers. Hopefully the new album will be different.



2 Easiest Jobs in Music

1. Adam Clayton - as the bass player for U2 this guy seems to be putting forth as little effort as possible.

2. Will Champion - playing drums for Coldplay looks like it's easier than sleeping. Just watch a live show and you'll see what I mean.

Pic of the Day

This is a picture of the inside of a wine bottle. I just thought it looked cool.

Video (yip, yip)

Remember these guys!



Anyway, that's all I have. Enjoy the rest of your time online, and play safe.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sesame Street (not for mixed company!)

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So I have now learned how to post videos. This blog is about to become very interesting! I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Halloween!


Here are a couple of reasons why I don't dress up for Halloween anymore! I swear to you that it seemed like a good idea at the time. A friend (who I will not name for obvious reasons) and I wanted to surprise our wives by showing up to the bar wearing the same costumes as them. The bad idea was arriving at the bar so early that we (my friend and I) were the only ones dressed up. Especially since we were meeting at a sports bar, packed with manly jock types watching the Leaf's game! We quietly found the darkest corner in the place and hid until we saw more people wearing costumes.

The Blair Witch

While on the subject of Halloween, I would like to say a few words about the Blair Witch. I think we could learn a lot from the Blair Witch. You see here is a person who has set a goal, made the appropriate plans to achieve their goal, and then had the determination to follow through. The witch had to first find the people in the woods, then stay up all night scaring the crap out of them, and then stay up all day following and confusing the filmmakers. She didn't let them out of her sight even once. She took total control of the situation and didn't give up until all of her goals were met. I only wish I could have the same kind of commitment to all of my goals. I have the same kind of admiration for Nicholas Cage's character in Leaving Las Vegas. But that's for another time.

Speaking of Las Vegas...

Today is the anniversary of me and AP renewing our wedding vows at The Little White Wedding chapel in Vegas. That's right, Frank Sinatra, Joan Collins, Michael Jordan, Britney Spears, and me and AP. We have all been married in the same chapel! Happy Anniversary baby!



Well I suppose that is all I have for today. Hope everybody had a safe Halloween.


Sit Ubu sit. Good dog.

Shawn

Monday, October 30, 2006

Well, for starters...

October 30, 2006

Here it is. My very first blog. I now have a voice to speak to the world, and suddenly I have nothing to say. I think the Fab 4 had a similar problem in the beginning, but I can not churn out candy pop like "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." A problem indeed!

Well for those of you who are actually reading this first entry, here's the deal. I am really quite bad for phoning, e-mailing, seeing, or any other form of communicating with people, so if you want to know what is happening in my life this is the place to be. I'll be posting news, opinions (sometimes irrational opinions!), silly stories, and more. So without further adieu... My Blog!


NEWS

Well, I really don't want to start at the beginning so I will start at Saturday, October 28, 2006.

Saturday:
AP and I purchased a Sesame Street DVD and watched 7 hours of the show while drinking White Russians. Immediately following hours of pre-school entertainment we decided to watch The Omen. I tell ya, The Omen is really not that scary. For the son of the devil Damein really didn't do very much. Sure he frightened away some giraffes and upset a couple of baboons (the ugliest of all the monkeys according to Homer Simpson), but other than that he seemed innocent. I also believe the whole knocking his own mother off the second floor balcony to kill the unborn child in her womb could have been an accident. After all, the mother was the one who was too lazy to get a ladder. What this family should have been more concerned with was their hiring policies. Specifically those concerning a live-in Nanny.

Sunday:
Watched X-Men 3. A.P. made a terrific pork-roast. Mmmmm...


Thought for the day:

My brain is currently empty. Thank god!


Pic of the week:




Well, I suppose that is all for the day. I will update every so often (my goal is weekly) so check in every so often.

This blog has been brought to you be the letter "J" and the numbers "6" and "11"

Cheers,
Shawn